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Monday, March 30, 2009

It's now 2:06am. Its a monday already. I guess this must be the latest time I am staying up for this year. 2009, seems different. Alot of... confusion. Unhappiness seems like a common thing for teenagers being real adults. I feel weird. Many things aren't that simple. I sometimes look back on the younger days while I was in seconday and primary school. Those were the days that I really treasure till today. Life of emo is bad. I know. However, what can I do when all things bad happen to me??

Standing at my grandma's graveyard today, I felt a sense of sorry. I am not a good person. I have offended and committed cardinal sins. Was 2 years ago that promise that I made not special?? Our lives pass by us so fast. There isn't a point of time where we can sit back and enjoy living. We live for different reasons. Some for fame, wealth, or other myriad of factors. But what we all must live for is happiness. But what is happiness?? Who can dare say what constitues happiness. Isit bein able to conquer the world, or just plain sitting at home and having enough food on the table to enjoy.

I want to do things. But in my pursuit of such things, am I making a mistake. That being said, what constitutes a mistake?? Sometimes perfection and too demanding is just a thin line seperating those 2. Life. So exciting since we dunno wat tml brings. Yet, so scary because of that similar reason. I ought to learn to let go. Let go of the past and look forward. But there must be a forward for me to envision 1st b4 I can proceed. Wat use with positive outlook and nothing will come out of pure trust in hope that isn't even there in the 1st place.

IS my life good?? On the surface it may seem that many things are going okay for me. But deep down, life isn't good. I know. Mayb I am too perfectionist for any1 to stand. But, I guess when fate comes and face you, you either stand up against it bravely or crumble and accept what you have.

It's late and I guess I will leave those thoughts to materialize in dreams.

Random thoughts: Dreams are really the opposite of reality.

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When Will I Be Brave Again?? out
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