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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Day 2 of the most hiong week of my life.

Well.. Last nitez, or actually this morining I went to bed with the most sad thoughts. Must b listen to dat song that my sis played when watching the show 200 pounds beauty. So touching and it really touched my inner self. Though I don't understand the lyrics, but the melody, just makes me wonder wat I am doin sometimes. Like I noe wat is rite and wat is wrong, but sometimes, I wonder whether is my tinking really rite?? It's really depressing.. I dunno just a inner part of me that I always have.

But still managed to sleep n woke up than slack than sleep 1 hr b4 the 4x800m race. Well.. the race was particularly thrilling. Hhas.. imagine taking such a big lead from schs such as VJC. Yeapz.. opened a big gap at the start but at the end still dead. Haiz.. But wat is +ve from this is that I improved so much from my personal best. Timing was 2minutes and 14 seconds. Like almost 5secs from my PB. Hmm.. at this rate.. I dunno dreams may just come true. Let's c how things will got till July.

Saw the other races and Han sen finally managed to pass me the sec 4-10disc. Havent see it yet but it shld b real nice to reminisce the past. Now the rain is fast approaching. Hear drops of rain on the cold window of mine. Wat a exact description of my heart. It's like a bitter yet tired yet slightly happy feelin. Bitter bcos things happen but they don't continue and makes me wonder why it even happen in the 1st place?? Tired bcos I wanna do something, but i noe that is not rite and will not do anything more as I am tired too bcos of life. Slightly happy bcos things like happy things happen ard this time b4 or it is exactly like a replica of the past. Something that makes me smile last time and cing it replay but minus all the happy parts just makes me slightly happy as I recollect the past.

Gosh.. I dont even noe wat I just said. I write blog entries with my mind wandering off sometimes so that my deepest feelings can b expressed. Yea.. Life's just confusing for me. I dunno wat to do N wat to believe. Like so many differing viewpoints and I dunno how strong I can maintain. I am surpressing many things. But I dunno whether how long I can hold. I thought I knew the answer. I stuck to it for so long. Pondered and arrive at the same conclusion. But now.. I am beggining to accept some facts that I conviniently forget. Something that makes me tink twice. If it's true than me bein stubborn is just plain stupidity. Just so lolss. at wat to do.. Sometimes I wish I noe wat I shld do.

Random thoughts: If only maths could find out probability and show us wat outcomes are present so that we can make a choice and make informed choices about life. The probability of leading a good life?? It's like so many successive events being linked together. So.. just doin simple maths, u shld noe wat's the probability.

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When Will I Be Brave Again?? out
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